If I would NOT have been Mother!!!!

Seeing Pradip from her balcony, lightened up Jyotsna’s face. She has been waiting for him, since last two hours. Pradip was working as senior manager in well-known multi-national company and extended office hours were rule rather than exception. Jyotsna, mother of two sons, Chirag (age: 7) and Saumil (age: 5) had done MBA from Delhi University and was working for TATA Steel till birth of her first child, Chirag. Two years after Chirag’s birth, Jyotsna gave birth to their second Son Saumil.

Living in nuclear family and non-availability of credible day-care system, forced Jyotsna to take long maternal vocation from her job. In due course, motherly responsibilities have taken precedent over carrier aspirations and Jyotsna became complete housewife.

Over dinner table, Pradip explained about his new college at office, Kalpana Jadhav. Name seemed familiar to Jyotsna. She asked more about her and knew that Kaplana had done MBA from Symbiosis and had worked for TATA steel for 5 years. Jyotsna recognized her. At TATA steel, Jyostana was her senior executive. Jyotsna was amazed by Kalpna’s progress. Eight years ago Kalpana was working under her, and now she is working with her husband and drawing same package as her husband !!  She avoided talking further about Kalpana. She cleaned up the table after dinner, made cup of coffee for Pradip and ordered her children to sleep. Her mind was obsessively occupied with Kalpana’s thoughts. “If I would not have resigned, I would have definitely reached higher position than Kalpana” she assumed.

Whether she was suffering from jealousy for Kalpana’s achievement or feeling regret to give-up her carrier, was hard to understand !!!

At that night Jyotsna could not sleep. Finally she woke up and went to balcony. She saw a lady hurriedly walking towards the apartment, with typical office purse and plastic carry-bag. “Is she working ? Is she married ? what about her kids ?” asked Jyotsna to herself, surely not to get answers. She opened the closet and took out a file, containing her academic and professional papers. She looked at her resignation letter, dated 2 March 2002. She took deep breath and looked at her sleeping children and husband. Who knows about the pain, she had felt while signing this letter !! Who cares about it ? What she can do to get world notice about her sacrifice ? Would she laminate this letter and hang in on sitting room wall !!

Sacrifices.. Sacrifices.. that’ what life has always asked for !! When she was child, she had to give favourite toy to her brother since she was girl.  She could not join IIM Culcutta for pursuing MBA since her Family did not want her to stay in hostel in far-away city and her dream to study at IIM, shattered !  After marriage, she has to settle in her husband’s city and declined her promotion because with promotion, she might have to transfer to another location. And finally, after being mother, she had to abandon all her carrier aspirations, dreams and goals and dedicated herself completely to serve her family…. All other dimensions of her personality had morphed into single entity.. a house wife… Being house wife is also full time committed job, but it’s she has dreamt about !!!

Is being a woman is crime !! No wonder looking at historical data, we have few woman scientists, innovators, administrators compared to men. Apart from Rani Laxmibai and Razia Sultan, we don’t’ remember any other woman emperor !! Or any other than Sarojini Naydu or Ani Beasant, as woman freedom fighters !!  

Jyotsna felt so prisoned in her own web of motherly, wifely responsibilities. Her world is filled by husband’s favourite dishes, washing machines, ironing clothes..etc and her well-earned MBA degree had not place in it.  It was distant past with no future. A flash-like thought occurred in her mind “If nature would have chosen MAN  to be Mother then it would have been Woman’s world …. If I would not have been a mother, I would surely have been Boss of my husband..”

Regds

Vadan