Sunday 19 February 2012

Sonography Report

He was in life saving business. He was considered as God by many. During his lifetime he has seen souls frightened by death and unbending spirit battling with destiny. He has seen power of prayers and melting arrogance of money. He has seen powerful celebrities begging for life and strength of common man to bear the pain. Sometimes he felt like a God, forgetting that he is also puppet of his own destiny.

Dr. Jiten Tanna aka JT( M 52)  was world famous cancer surgeon. He has lost his father suffering from cancer. From childhood he was determined to find cure for this deadly disease. During his youth when his friends were enjoying parties he was studying medical research reports. His hard work has paid off. At age of 37 he has received surgeon of the year award from Medical Council of India for conducting highest number of lung cancer surgery successfully. His research papers are published in leading medical magazines and journals. At age of 44 he was youngest guest lecturer at Stanford Medical Academy. He was part of medical panel of Prime minister of India. Most acknowledging fact of his skill was that his advice was asked for World's tech-billionaire Steve Jobs’ cancer illness.

As JT grew more popular at India and abroad, his ambition also grew proportionally. He wanted to be remembered as great cancer surgeon for generations to come. For this he had a dream to build an advanced cancer hospital along with medical research centre, equipped with latest technology. The aim of medical institute would be to treat cancer patients of all categories with latest medical equipment and provide medical cancer research facility to aspiring medical students for new find new breakthroughs in cancer diagnosis. He has made architectural plan for the institute. Institute will have majorly two wings, general and premium. General wing will be for financially weak patients while premium is for those who can afford premium charges. Surgery theatre and panel of doctors will be the same for both categories. Behind the wings there will be Research University, which will invite world’s best cancer doctors for guest lectures. JT was confident that institute will earn enough money from its premium clients to run general category and research University. Growing amount of medical tourism to India, from western countries and rest of the world, JT’s ambition was to provide cheap, quality and latest cancer treatment to anybody in the world. And definitely the name of the institute will be JT Cancer Cure Centre.

JT was spending daily two hours for planning his dream project. State govt was ready to allocate land at good location and medical community across the world has shown eagerness to contribute. Only problem was funding. Banks were ready to fund certain part but JT required private financier for appx.100 Crore Rs.  He has used all his resources but remaining 100 Cr had become last bottleneck for the project. 100 cr had become nightmare for JT. Who will give 100 Cr to realize his dream to be immortal ?

Karshan Patel(M 74) was influential political figure and wealthy billionaire.  Wealthy or Poor, destiny treats everyone equal and wrath of nature will fall on whom & when, is unknown.  In spite of all the preventive health care checkups Karshan was diagnosed with lung cancer.
At age of 74 he was living satisfied life. He was successful business man who has created vast business empire, politically close ally of Chief Min, and father of loyal hardworking children. His elder son Jagat has taken business responsibilities from him and he was enjoying a semi-retiring life with his grand children. In public functions he was openly proclaiming that his all ambitions are fulfilled and has no attachment to life. But when death really arrived at his doorstep, his attachment to life increased thousand fold. He was scared of death and wanted to live more at any cost.
His son Jagat consulted well known cancer surgeons and all referred to JT. It was clear that only JT can operate Karshan' s complicated illness. Finally, Jagat consulted JT.

Looking at Karshan's sonography report, JT diagnosed that cancerous tumour has developed to terminal level. JT straightforwardly told Jagat that  " Devil ( as he referred to malignant tumour) has spread lot.  There is very little chance that patient will be saved even after surgery.  Looking at the age of patient i feel that we should let him to the destiny and i will prescribe painkillers which will give him least amount of pain”.
JT was very upfront in his diagnosis, regardless of social status patients. He believed in not giving wrong hopes to the patient and waste his time for retired cases.
Listening to him, rocky Jagat felt tears in eyes.   
He came out of consulting room with broken heart. Karshan was waiting outside and eagerly waiting for doctor’s decision. Jagat masked his feelings and replied that doctor wants time to think. In spite of Jagat’s sincere attempt to hide the truth,  Karshan red his disappointed eyes.

That night Jagat was awake with peg of Blacklabel. He had belief in power of money. But today in JT’s cabin he saw the defeat of money power. He could not digest it. What is purpose of wealth if it can’t buy you health !!
Remembering his discussion with JT, Jagat felt that doctor is not serious enough for his father. ‘Giving the age of my father, may be Dr. JT does not want to take risk for surgery which probably end up in death, spoiling his reputation’ he thought.
Jagat thought that if big incentive is worked out for JT, he may take risk to operate Karshan which may save his life. Jagat came to know about JT's requirement of 100 Cr.  Owner of 1000 Cr's fixed asset and knowing the profit margins of medical industry, it would not be hard for Jagat to raise 100 Cr. He clubbed his father's illness with JT's dream.

He offered JT that if his father survives after cancer surgery, he would invest 100 Cr in JT's project without any condition. His father has to be saved. He was as straightforward as JT in  his business approach.
JT was thrilled by the offer. He decided to save Karshan at any cost. Saving lives was his passion and this time saving a life will earn him his dream project, as bonus. JT postponed all his appointments for next week and focussed only on Karshan’s medical reports.
He analyzed Karshan's sonography report again & again. Using his experience and skill, he came to conclusion that Karshan can be saved only if a latest robotic arm is used for the surgery. This arm was able to operate minute blood veins which human fingers could not. This arm was still in design phase and not used for any live human surgery. Thus it was risky to use it. JT took the chance and decided to use it. Arm was imported from US. He worked hard to master the skills to operate the arm, forgetting everything else, even his private life.

After 2 months of hard work, JT honed the skill to operate the robotic arm. Day has come for Karshan's surgary. JT had used all his medical skills, experience and knowledge of Robotic Arm to eradicate devil tumour from Karshan's body. He won and Karshan survived.
JT became first doctor in medical history to use robotic arm in live human surgery. Apart from this international recognition, he received 100 Cr investment, from Jagat as promised. Now his dream was about to realize and he will be immortal in true sense.  He was feeling at top of the world. He felt like God.. life saviour and immortal. He threw party to celebrate his double success. 

During the party, he got sudden cough. He cough hard and rushed to the restroom. He spit large cough swab... it contained blood !
He shocked looking at it.  ‘It must be some throat infection’ his primary thought.
He could not sleep at night. His mind was filled by all kind of thoughts. The image of Bloody Swab of cough...kept haunting him. He could not bear it any longer. He suddenly woke up and drove to his clinic.  He opened the clinic with his keys and switched on the lights.  He found empty clinic staring at him as if welcoming a new patient. Clinic used to fill by staff, patients, relatives during the day time, now there was nobody, just JT and his worries.  JT sat on chair meant for patient. He was feeling nervous, tense and scary.... One question haunting him  What is inside my body ?!
Doctor had become the patient.
He slowly went to scanning room. He was the operator and patient both. He switched on the Sonography machine and placed the scanner on his chest..... Now he can clearly see the Devil he hated the most..cancerous tumour inside his own body. The devil he hated most and ironically same devil which has earned him fame and money, had finally entered into his own body.
JT analysed his report and found that tumour has spread well, exactly as Karshan. This tumor can only be eradicated by robotic arm, which can be operated only by him. More bad news was that Arm was dismantled for updated design before mass production. JT calculated that he had maximum one month to live. He realized that to save Karshan he has ignored all the warnings his body had given to him. Now he staring his own sonography report and looking at Devil, killing him slowly. He did not luxury of ignorance of illness, like his patients.
He went to restroom, and stood in front of mirror. He addressed his own image..”Look Mr.JT,, your devil has reached to terminal stage and now unfortunately nothing can be done.. It’s too late for surgery. I will prescribe you medicine which will lessen your pain.. You have mostly one month to live.  “ He was as straightforward as he was with his patients..
But finally patient JT broke down... He wanted to live more.. He wanted to realize his dream project.. He wanted to build his cancer institute.. JT Cancer Cure Center. But he did not had enough time.  Today he was feeling the pain of his numerous patients, their unfulfilled desires and ambitions....
After nearly one month JT died. People are saying Doctor could not save himself, because he was not God.. .he was just as a doctor.
By Vadan mehta

Friday 10 February 2012

Be or Not be BE !!!

Be or Not to BE !!!!!



My story Be or not to BE  is based complexity of human thought process, resulting in vagaries of mind. 
Ratilal(M 70) was sad man. After death of his dear wife, Damini, Ratilal has become quite a lonely soul. Being a introvert, he did not had many friends and whatever few friends he had, some of them have left the city and rest have left the world, leaving Ratilal and his loneliness behind.
Ratilal was living with his son Mehul, his wife Reena and a son
Arjun. Mehul was mostly busy in his office work, Reena was always busy in daily house chores and Arjun was 10 years old, started living his personalized cellular life. In nutshell Ratilal was only member in the house, without any work & responsibility. His dull life style had made him bitter, as told “empty brain is devil’s workshop”. Ratilal’s brain constantly occupied with evil thoughts about his diminishing value, his lost fortune and family neglect.
That another day, Ratilal was busy in watching his favourite TV serial “Main Chali Sasural”. While his eyes were glued to TV screen, his mind was fuelled by negative thoughts. He felt that family members were no longer interested in him and he is a burden on the family. Lost in such thought, suddenly his grand son, Arjun changed the TV channel to MTV hungama. Ratilal considered this as an insult. He snatched the remote control and tuned it back to Main Chali Sasural. Arjun started complaining over this. Finally Reena intervened and requested Ratilal to let Arjun watch MTV Hungama for few minutes. Ratilal was furious. His mind was searching an issue for confrontation and he got it.. He threw the Remote control towards Reena and shouted angrily..”do whatever you want to do. It is clear that I have no value in this house..”..
Reena was zapped by his attitude. She was doing best she can do to take care of Ratilal. Since last few weeks She has observed that Ratilal’s behaviour has changed for the worse. He has started commenting on food prepared by her, which he gladly ate before and started cribbing on cloth ironing, getting fussy over every little thing. Reena tolerated all his fussiness,  till now.. But today she exploded. She argued back “Babuji.. why are you behaving like this.. We are just asking to you change the TV channel. And you are watching repeated episodes, which you have already seen “.. Ratilal angrily replied  So now  I have to ask you about what I have to watch and not to watch!! Everybody in this house are keeping eye on me… I have no value in this house… If I had my own house, I would have left…”
Love is blind and so does anger. In fit of anger, people reveal what is residing deep in their heart..  All those deep thoughts which can’t be revealed in normal condition, Anger pulls them out of closet of modesty.
Survey has shown that growing number of TV channels is also one reason for formation of nuclear families. It has increased need for privacy.  Everybody wants remote control and wants to see TV channels as per their preference. Owning Remote control is kind of authoritarian power.   In presence of Ratilal, Reena did not had that remote-control-owning power. Today in fit of anger, she vented out her frustration. She replied “ What we have asked is just to change a TV channel. Whole day you watch TV programs that  you like. We are also staying in this house, We also want to see programs, we like. “
Ratilal has always, gained respect from Reena and had never experienced her  anger. Reena used to tolerate his tantrums and he  enjoyed this luxury. But today, Reena retorted and Ratilal could not bear it. He took fight to next level to retain his control over her. He jumped from his bed and started shouting  I am not getting enough food. Nobody bothers about me. I want to leave this house and stay in Ashram“…
Ratilal thought that his ultimate threat will bring Reena on her knees. Listening to brawl, Ratilals’ son Mehul came out of room.. He angrily asked “what is happening ?”
Ratilal thought that his son will favour him. He told him “Ask your wife “.
Mehul replied “ I have heard every thing.. it’s your fault Babuji. You are behaving childish, fighting for TV channel, grow up..” Reena gave victorious look to Ratilal.
Listing to his Son, Ratilal felt his crown has toppled.  His status in family as respected elder is vanishing.  Nevertheless, he had energy to defend his title. He used his ultimate tactic.. Suddenly he brought tears in his eyes “ If you all hate me.. tell me I will quit your house.. If I am burden, I will go to somewhere else.. I will not trouble you any more “…
Mehul got angrier on the drama. He shouted back “ Babuji…. Stop this drama… and do whatever you want, we are fed up
Reena, Mehul and Arjun left the room, leaving Ratilal alone with TV…
Human being has tendency to develop immunity mechanism for event that occur often. Ratilal had often used combination of  tears, shouting and threats to get his job done. But now family has created immunity from his threats. His tears and angry bursts have lost the value. 
Ratilal’s ultimate threat also did not work… He and his ego, collapsed on chair.  He felt like king who has lost every inch and penny of his kingdom. Lost in depressive thoughts, he felt asleep.
When he woke up, it was 2 AM in the morning. He was hungry. He found that Reena has kept Dinner for him on the dinning table. He was hungry but not willing to eat. Listening to toilet flush, Reena woke up and warmed food for her father in law.
Hungry Ratilal could not resist warmed up dinner and started eating, without speaking with Reena. Reena looked silently  at eating Ratilal and felt like caress his head as mother does to crying child. “My old child”.. she thought and gone to her bedroom. 
Good thing about anger is that once you vent out pent up feelings, heart become clear of enmity. Ratilal has poured out all negativity and now he is feeling calm. After climbing mountain of hatred, he is descending now. He remembered the care and love Reena has shown to him, especially after death of his wife.  He started cursing himself for creating unnecessary fracas over TV channel. He felt like crying and apologizing Reena for what he has done.
Suddenly his thoughts started taking another side of negativity. Until now he was cursing his family members, now he started cursing himself. He felt like  I am  burden to the family and good for nothing. My devil nature will keep hurting my family, who loves me so much. I am devil. I am problem. My existence is pain for me and my family. What I have done for them, other than just giving troubles?  I should be hanged to death… why to live more ? What is there to live more ! how long I will inflict pain on them.. I have no right to live..etc
Lost in such thoughts, he could not sleep. One thought keep reoccurring to his mind  “WHY TO LIVE MORE !!!!”…
His thoughts became so dominant that he decided to finish his life for the good. He got into mood of killing himself.
At 5 AM, he left the house silently. At society gate, he met Mishra. He was least interested in talking to him. He walked down to nearby sea beach. He drank 4 cups of tea as last wish. He headed for the sea.
Vast sea was at front of him. He was going to immerse himself into the sea. He started walking into the sea, looking at horizon where Sea and Sky meet.  The water touched his feat.. it was cold.. Ratilal continued. Tides were not strong as if nature was helping him.
As he progressed, listening the sound of sea waves, He remembered all the events of this life… His birth, his parents, his school teachers, Vada-Pao outside his school, his college friends, hostel room, secret smoking, romancing with girl on terrace, his first job and salary, his marriage, marriage night, birth of Mehul, his promotion, office colleges, Mehul’s college admission, Mehul’s marriage, Reena’s entry into the house, Birth of Arjun , death of his wife…
All the images are passing by his eyes like fast moving train.. death of his wife… and train has passed, leaving desolated Ratilal behind. There was no memory after that… Iife had become Zero….
Water had reached to shoulder level… He remembered Reena and her care….. “ I thank her for everything she has done for me and God bless her..” he blessed.
He took one more step.. deeper into water and thought of Arjun… “My Arjun… May god give him best of health and wealth” He prayed and took one more step.. Now water is touching his nose..
One more step and Ratilal will be no more.. his existence will absorbed by sea..…
He closed his eyes and asked for forgiveness.. He is about to plunge into deep sea, never to return… He raised his hands and bid last farewell to his family, his house, his society building and MISHRA  standing at society gate….  ..Mishra’s image froze.. and thoughts suddenly diverted.. … .. “ MISHRA… Mishra… that lier.. I suppose to get Rs.25,000 from him.. He is giving fake promises since last 2 years, thinking I am fool… Once I die, he will never return my money.. I will not die without recovering my money from him.. “
Direction of Thoughts changed in flash. Mindest and resulting behaviour changed in flash...It’s intricate to understand complexities of human mind..
Image of Mishra suddenly changed Ratilal’s thought process and he forgot about the Suicide. Family love could not stop him from dieing but his hatred for Mishra and greed for money prevented his death… What love could not accomplice, hate did. At last minute, he tempted to live even more..

This sudden thought has changed Ratilal’s mindset.  He wanted to live now.. He got reason to live.. But density had different plan for him. In  haste, he turned towards shore and his leg slipped.. He fumbled and fell down into the  sea.. He started drowning… He made all efforts to save himself but could not.. he was so far from shore and no one saw him or heard his help-cries.
Sea was witnessing Ratilal’s last-minute frantic attempts to save himself. Ratilal sunk deep into the sea.. he was waving his hands and legs to reach to surface.. but it was too late… The more he tried, deeply he sunk.. Finally he died..
Few days after they found his dead body and concluded attempted suicide. Nobody knew the truth that, He came to the sea for death but he died, with craving for life in his heart. As conclusion, it was not attempted suicide but accidental death…